How Can You Be Free If… You Don’t Know Where You’re Going?

May 22, 2025

If there’s one thing I know well, it’s the frustration of not having a clear direction in life. It’s what makes us haphazardly pick whatever’s on the menu…

“The waiter is waiting, Honey… just pick something!”
“Ehhhh… For starters I guess I’ll have a good indoctrination, I mean, education… followed by a forgetting and disregarding of everything that brought me joy as a child. And for dessert, I guess I’ll try a high-paying job with a side of burnout, topped with a generous sprinkling of letters after my name… MBA, BSc, PhD, MDE… you know, whatever’s the done thing.”
“Wow! That’s a lot of sprinkles… it’ll cost you, you know!?”
“Oh, OK. I guess I’ll also have a large student loan and a crippling mortgage too then, please…”
“Fantastic! Well played sir, and for you, madam!?”
“She’ll have the same…”

Terrible, isn’t it? It’s why most people surrender to the slot they’ve squeezed themselves into—anything to avoid the pain of not knowing.

“Screw ‘wandering lonely as a cloud’. I’m going to squeeze myself into this broken system even if it kills me.” — So that’s what many of us do.

It often looks like ‘success’, but underneath the smiles, we are dying.

Why can’t we just be content with our lot? I mean, look at how our predecessors had it. Shouldn’t we be grateful!? Besides, the ‘infinite growth machine’ needs cogs. What does it matter if it’s broken? It’s what we’ve got, what can we do, only roll with it?

We may try to keep a brave face and count our blessings, but it won’t quell the voice inside that just won’t let it slide.

What if there was another way?

“You mean there’s an option B in this game?”

There sure is. It’s simple, really. All we must do is:

Spend countless years deprogramming the subconscious patterns that rule our lives, by sifting through the ‘karmic bag’ we’ve been handed, with all its pain and suffering… that’s been handed down for generations, and somehow ended up in the cells of our bodies.

Then, find your gifts (also in the bag), become what we were intended to be, and then somehow magically materialise that into something that will put food on the table.

Oh and… You will probably lose all your friends… but that’s OK because it’s nothing compared to the gut-wrenching fear you will feel giving up everything you’ve believed yourself to be, even the parts that made you miserable.

Oh, and to top it all off, there’s no guarantee any of this will work and that you won’t end up lost, alone and without a ‘pot to piss in’.

Bon voyage.

Enjoy the ‘road less travelled’.

Sounds like one big pain in the ass we could all do without! Much easier to suppress that nagging feeling inside and make peace with option A. It is full of blessings, too, after all.

Well, if you’re a bit odd like me, there’s something inside you that just won’t allow that to happen. All I can say is sorry for your troubles. ‘Every cloud’ and all that…

Travelling Your True Path

So, you’ve chosen to travel your true path.

Congratulations! Apparently, you’re too awkward for anything else, too.

First thing is, the rules of the road are different. For starters, you’re going to have to learn a new way to navigate. In simple terms, this means shifting from an overly logical, mind-centric way of living to a more intuitive, feeling-based one.

It would be nice if this were a smooth ride, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, with trans-humanist agendas, fantastic technological innovations, power grabs, wars, and industrial-scale attention harvesting, what should be a simple twelve-inch journey to reconnect the head with the heart becomes a perilous quest for simplicity and authentic living.

And yet—paradoxically, even necessarily— these chaotic times are also the most fertile soil for this shift to occur in anyone who chooses it.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…”

It’s that time again, Mr. Dickens. And somehow we’re going to make the most of it!

Changing Lanes

When you change lanes, there’s going to be a period of time where you have no idea what you’re doing. You’re driving blind. I mean, completely blind. And no matter how fast you’re travelling, there’s bound to be a few accidents on the slip road.

Somehow, you must switch drivers, turn off the old Sat Nav (commentating mind), and upgrade your vehicle—all while not stopping. Simple really.

Some call this manoeuvre a ‘spiritual awakening,’ but I’d rather not make this too ‘spiritual’. Like pretty much everything else, much of that scene has been hijacked too (has been for millennia).

A lot of the ‘spiritual content’ out there is for people on Route A pretending to be on Route B. I did far too much of that for far too long. Nothing wrong with it per se, I still do it. I enjoy it. It’s only a problem if that’s all you do. It’s meant to help you make the change, but often it becomes “spiritual masturbation“ — another way to faff about using higher truths to avoid facing your real issues. AKA ‘spiritual bypassing’. It’s a bit like the time I drove 100 miles on a motorway in the wrong direction. It felt like progress at the time.

This is what going ‘uber spiritual’ can do to you when you live primarily in your head. You feel like you’re going somewhere when all you’re doing is hurtling down the road of delusion at 100 miles an hour, gobbling up as much wisdom as you can find. The problem isn’t the content, it’s the level it stays if you do nothing else.

Speaking of Uber, it would be good if that were an option for a journey like this. Or even a Self-driving car.

Well, guess what? There is!

You’re it!

Think about it: Your ‘vehicle’ breathes by itself and digests food by itself. Is it much of a stretch to believe this same intelligence can also guide your life?

I mean, it works for a salmon returning to its place of birth, and for swallows travelling from Africa to Ireland and back again, with no ‘Google Maps’. Why not us?

Aren’t we supposed to be the most advanced creatures on this planet? Maybe this intuitive, “life-sensing” intelligence isn’t missing; maybe it just needs to be re-awakened and strengthened?

My point is that the ‘you’ you believe yourself to be cannot drive the road less travelled. You must be ‘driven’ and I don’t mean the motivated kind. I mean that, if you really want to be driven, something else must drive.

This can be slightly upsetting to your old identity. It’s a bit of a control freak; it wants to drive. Not driving can make it feel like it’s being ejected from the vehicle—you know, ‘ego death’. The ego doesn’t have to die. It just needs to hand over the wheel to something else—the true YOU.

This ‘YOU’ craves expansion, not safety; it doesn’t need to know the destination. Its primary concern is that you’re travelling in the right direction.

Personal identity ‘you’ aka the ‘you you’ve always believed yourself to be’ liked to have it all laid out — it punched some destination in the sat nav. Then, when it got there, it couldn’t even enjoy it, so it ‘moved the goalposts’ again.

It loves to make bucket lists and vision boards to manifest its dreams… how nice? Too bad they’re all tainted. Realising this can be a little upsetting, but eh, at least you’re on the right road now.

Still, now that ‘personal identity’ you is the co-pilot, it can often end up sitting there bewildered, confused, frustrated, or impatient like a child saying ‘are we there yet, are we there yet?’ and maybe even — ‘where the fuck are we even going, Mooooommmmmmm!?’.

“Hey now, little Johnny! No cursing, that’s naughty! I’ve told you, we don’t know where we’re going, that’s what makes this trip an adventure! P.S. I love you”.

It may take some time for this part of you to relax and get with the new program (or lack thereof). But as time passes, you start to see a new path forming. There’s a subtle transformation happening. Co-pilot ‘you’ settles into its rightful place as a passenger on an adventure, which eventually feels pretty good.

“Wait, so I don’t have to have it all figured out? I just need to listen to YOU, the One driving?… You’ve been driving all along, haven’t you?”
“I sure have, buddy boy, that was just a toy steering wheel I gave you until you decided to wake up from your dream!”

And what a relief this is — you don’t have to have it all figured out, with the added benefit of making up whatever meaning you like about the journey so far. Some of it will make sense, a lot of it won’t. Who cares. It’s about the journey. It’s about HOW YOU ARE BEING and what YOU are becoming as you drive into the unknown.

And then one day, while driving along happily, you realise that you’ve ‘healed’, you’ve made it through the fire and off the slip road. Yippeee!

“So… now what!?” says Brain, finally realising he wasn’t the genius he thought he was…
“Exactly! Now What?” replies Pinky… “Now that you’re free from having to take over the world… what do you want to do and BE!?”
“Goddamn it Pinky! I don’t really know…”
“That’s not freedom, is it, Brain?”
“Sure doesn’t feel like it, Pinky!”
“Bingo Brain! At least you’re free to make real decisions again — conscious ones — let’s start by going over what you love. What brings you joy? What do you value, truly care about… Maybe the world needs some more of that…”

So, you take some time to reflect on what’s taken place. You’ve done the inner work, you’ve ploughed through a sizeable chunk of your karmic bag, and ‘healed your stuff’, at least enough to see the wood from the trees again.

You start to piece yourself together again, this time with the discernment to know what is really yours from what you gathered from the journey. You see how the answers really have been there all along. You were always it, you just couldn’t see it. You’re far from perfect, but clear enough to know what you’re really about; your mistakes have taught you well. You know that to be free comes with responsibility.

“Oh, so we must go back, Pinky? Into the lane we were in before?”
“We sure must, Brain… only now you know who’s really driving. Now you’ve no rose-coloured glasses on, you see Life more clearly. A beautiful, messy tapestry of Beings, all trying hard to get somewhere when there’s nowhere to get to — only NOW and HERE!”
“Well… yeah, kind of… but I’m not ready… what if I forget again, Pinky?”
“Well… you will, Brain and that’s OK. You’ll put those little hands on your little toy wheel again… You’ll think you’re driving… and then Life will bump you on the back of the head until you remember again. It’s good. It’s how you’ll learn. It’s how you’ll keep on becoming more and more of your true Self.”
“And then!?”
“And NOW! You’ll begin to use what you’ve learned to help out in some way. That’s freedom, Brain. The kind you don’t have to figure out.”

Analogies are fun.

This process isn’t. ‘Changing lanes’ or waking up to the possibility that you’ve been living someone else’s life can be tricky. It means admitting that a large portion of your life was guided by your conditioning, not your soul.

It means taking yourself apart piece by piece and putting yourself back together again. You eventually realise that it was never about ‘finding your purpose’ in some role or job title. It was always about the karmic bag and the inner work required to iron it out so you can be free of all the expectations you placed upon yourself.

Really, it’s about letting Life have its way with you. It’s about letting the heart guide the Brain. Something that can only happen when you begin to trust it.

When you really listen to it, you see how it was always speaking to you, in the more subtle language of “feeling”. The mind can have some trouble with this. It prefers words, not intuitive knowing, ‘gut feelings’, synchronicities, symbols, dreams, etc.

Choosing the Road Less Traveled – Generations Magazine

It was never about getting anywhere. It’s about turning inward. Facing yourself and all the parts you’d rather not. This is where the true YOU wants to take you. It doesn’t really give a shit about your conditioned plans and goals. It gives a shit about you waking up and remembering who you are so you can be free, and joyful and not stuck in your head all the time.

It’s not about bucket lists or more qualifications. It’s not even about having all of our ducks in a row. The real certificate is to BE who we are, and the only way to get to that is to burn away all that we are not by walking through the fire.

Then the real journey can begin.

We’re all driving on some road. All completely different paths in one way, all the same in another. It’s all the self coming back to the Self. Weaving in and out of traffic. Taking detours. Getting lost. Finding your Self. Getting lost again.