How Can You Be Free If… You Fear Being Misunderstood?

Or judged? Or whatever others may think or say about you when you stick your head above the parapet and risk unveiling your true, authentic (sometimes weird) Self?

You can’t.

When you follow the inner guidance of your Self, it may make no sense to others, or even to you sometimes (trust me on that one).

You may be misunderstood, projected on, or even personally ridiculed.

This happened to me recently. It stung a little, so I sat with it.

This quote popped into my mind:

"By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness."- Yoga Sutras Of Pantanjali

“Fuck! disregard?” — my mind didn’t want calmness, it wanted to rebel!

“Who do they think they are… they’ve no idea… blah blah blah”.

Instead of letting it ruin my day. I sat with what felt like a stomach punch. It was uncomfortable. I stayed with it. I reminded myself of what I know to be true. I ‘recapitulated’ — a simple Toltec breathing technique for disentangling energy. I transmuted the hurt into fuel and sent Love to that person.

Job done... not quite. The emotional charge was neutralised, but I would spend the next week contemplating what was stirred up.

Here’s what I learned.

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I realised I’m not here for everyone, none of us are.

People say this all the time, but finally it hit home.

Trying to be for everyone is a waste of time and energy, aka Life.

When we try to be, we go around in circles. We suppress the very Life force that wants to express through us, only to become watered-down versions of who we could be.

Ain’t nobody got time for that…

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The thing is, we don’t ‘own’ this energy, we only THINK we do.

Our job is to connect with our hearts and then let rip.

Let it create what it wants to create.

That’s how we honour who we are — aka Life.

This doesn’t just happen by itself.

It takes work to undo a lifetime of conditioning.

Either we get to work or let the script predictably play out.

Most let it play…

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Creative expression is medicine.

Sometimes, butting up against the supposed limits of our creative expression, can make us feel a little uneasy. This is good because it brings up the ‘stuff’ we’re here to iron out—this is our other job.

This is why creative expression is so important, especially today. It’s healing because it moves stuck energy, it brings joy, and it counteracts over-consumption (which is key if we are to remember that we were born to create).

When we iron out what blocks the flow of this creative energy, we become conduits for something new. We become true Creators (as I’m pretty sure The Creator intended.)

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The Minds Game

There’s no more time to waste on fear or trying to be accepted.

All of that trying is the problem.

Creative expression is meant to be effortless and joyful.

The disconnected mind would much rather we be copycat ‘content creators’ so it can fit in and feel safe.

But that’s not freedom — that’s not Being who we are.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to play a new game.

One where we drop all the masks of performance and perfectionism, and just let rip from the heart and see what happens.

Maybe it won’t be perfect.

Maybe it’ll ruffle some feathers.

And maybe that’s a good thing.

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Some people won’t resonate with the true you, and that’s OK.

Some people may even go out of their way to project their anger or frustration on you.

That’s OK too. It might sting a little. But when it comes to how you handle that, there’s always a choice:

Use any hate or judgement you receive to keep yourself down

OR

Use it as fuel to become more of your Self; better, stronger, more resolute to show up as YOU.

Double down on the voice in your heart that knows who you are. Choose to be of service to those you’re here to serve and disregard the inevitable crap that comes your way from those who feed off of it. You’re not here for them, and that’s OK.

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I’m not saying we shouldn’t be considerate.

Thoughtful, sincere opinions are essential.

They highlight our inevitable blind spots.

You just can’t let them be at the expense of your own soul.

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Some Tough Love For The Haters…

To spread shit you must be full of it first.

Likewise, to spread love and joy, you must fill up your tank on that.

If people have a problem with you sharing who you are, it’s their problem. Not yours. Don’t let it stop you. Don’t sacrifice your soul to appease them.

Only you know who you are. Let them say and think what they like. Use it all as fuel for the fire in your heart — it knows why you’re here. You’ve made mistakes, so what? You’ll make many more… That’s how you’ll keep learning, growing stronger, more loving, and more immune to the bullshit.

When you become aware of how much you’ve bullshitted yourself (with self-judgement and negative thoughts) the bullshit of others doesn’t hold much weight. Eventually, it will cease to matter entirely.

What matters is that you honour your Self, who knows why it’s here — to serve this world in a way only you can — by Being your Self.

When you follow your soul, the minds still trapped and severed from theirs may react because it will make them uncomfortable. They may not even know why.

‘Forgive them because they know what they do…’ For they know not who they are.

As difficult as it might be, send love to the haters.

What else will cure their madness?

This takes courage you cannot buy. It must be earned by turning inward and facing yourself, taking responsibility for the way you think and feel instead of projecting it outside of you; alchemising whatever others may project on you, with Love, into Love.

That’s freedom.